people disgust me .

i stand alone .

me lajuan and lil 1

just emotiions.

before i post what i have intended, i need to say that my dog sleeps like a person.
on his back, legs all spread out. hands (paws) under his head.
its cute (:

&& i honestly dont know where well end up. dont know if hell keep the words hes told me since day 1. dont kno if hell end up playin games when he doesnt have time for them... but what i do know is i believe what i hear now. i believe when he looks me in my eyes and tells me "ill only tell you once, cuz everyone says the shit, but i mean it... im never gonna leave you"

and with that said, my heart forever remains standinsolidd.

now back to the originally scheduled blogcast....

now this might offend some im aware, but its not directed towards anyone in particular so if you get offended part of you realizes you are exactly what i am speaking of.... just a pre warning before you continue to read....


so like the youth of today are all the same.
like its sad that everyones created this image of what they have to be. fitted hats skinny jeans and sbs for boys. died hair , doorknockers, and mocs for fees.
like im tired of it.

i went looking across myspaces today and noticed like everyones the same. no matter how much these people claim to "shit" and be "dope" or whatever fuckin slang terms are in "season" now... they dont because theyre just like the last and the next person. braggin and boastin about the shit your parents got you.. wow.

people say they dont follow "trends"
and start they own shit... but once they start they own shit they get all their friends on it..... whhats that ? a TREND. so regardless... the people that live for popularity and a myspace or blog view, or a aim buddy whatever the fuck yall live for nowadays....

yall all follow trends. yall all are like each other. PERIOD

realize the truth, and that shall set you free.
not sayin im real or anything but people that dont care, are on there own shit. they dont live to be seen by the public eye when they not even fuckin famous (myspace popularity and party popularity does not count my friends)
but when people are onn they own shit figurin out ways to better they lives ON THEY OWN WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF MOM AND DAD OR FAMILY ...
when they stackin money not givin a fuck about what LOOKS COOL....

thats when you have my respect.
my ass wear a fuckin white tee w. a hoodie some sweats and some boots. not cuz the shits cute, cuz it personally dontfuckin match, BUT cuz tha shits warm.

just so tired of this nonsense goin on in cali man... and thats SO REAL.
cuz 1/2 yrs from now yall all gon look back like WTF WAS I THINKING....
shit i know i do.. cuz i was where yall are at one point.

CHEESE:

SO VALENTINES DAY DIDNT GO AS I ORIGINALLY PLANNED,
BUT BABY STILL MADE IT GOOD.
HE TOOK ME TO MAMAJS &HAD A GOOD DINNER.

IM TIRED
&HNGRY SO IM SITN HERE EATING GRILLED CHEESE (:

gewgehl;

just got home from the boyfriends
&now we're here.

ive een having maddd headaches recently.
why? shit! im askin you!

but ummm not too much too say besides
fucc you; goodnight america.

oh yeah, my dinner consists of au gratin (:

dont know what it is?
GOOGLE ME BABY.

excusemyholyness

so my boyfriend will be here for good!
im so happy man! im fuckin tellin you all...

GOD IS GOOD!
DO NOT TAKE THAT MAN FOR GRANTED.

he does things to test you.
to test your faith in Him.
to test your strength.

For example, i believe my financial hardship that I am going through right now will be over soon.
He wants me to rely my faith on him, which I vow to do.
Im tired of stressing so Im gonna hand this over to God, and hopefully he makes it does what it do! On his timing too! not on ours.

reminds me of an old gospel song i used to sing at church....
"hes an ontime God.
Yes he is.
He may not come when you want him,
but hell be there right on time
i tell you hes an ontimee God, yes he is!"
Ive been worrying so much about how I'm going to pay my bills, &getmyself out of debt.
cuz thats what ive been trained to do since i was little!
But see "trust in the lord with all thy heart, and rely not on thy own knowledge"
For whatever it is that you want, confess it with your mouth to the Lord, have faith and he will grant it upon you when he feels you are ready.


anyways, I had some deep thinking the other day when wookie left. i didnt think id be seeing him for along time and honestly it made me appreciate him so much more. through all of our ups and downs and little spats we get into. our disagreements and arguements, my love remains strong.
and actually continues to grow. i try to imagine myself without him in my life and i cant. hes become a huge part of my life that without him i honestly dont feel right. hes made me a much more wiser person. through everything we go through, at first i thought it was because we just werent meant. but after all of this ive realized that we are meant. we' are so much alike that we dont know how to act. we bump heads so much because we both have an attitude. we both react the same to certain things.

for example, hell look irritated when nothings wrong
i "yell" when im talking
and both of these erk the other. hes everything i am, but at the same time everything im not.
he keeps me sane, yet insane at the same time.
hes my right hand, my backbone, my spine, my world.

when me and him first got involved i honestly didnt think hed look at me the way he does. blame that on my low self esteem i guess. i thought id be just another girl, but for some reason i stood there. stood there and risked my friendship with someone who was very important to me, and yes although it did and does hurt to kno i had to lose that person... im happy with the choice i made and would not have things any other way. because although i didnt think he took me seriously that 11.10 week.... i realized shortly after he was about to become my king and i his queen. and now, i feel our bond is ridiculous. yes we do still argue because even the most perfect relationships have their flaws, i couldnt be anymore happier. he makes me happy to the point where i cry thinking about how blessed i feel to have him. ahhhh i could go on and on but, i gotta get in the shower.

On that note..
i Love that man.
LDorsey.

"I know you have trust issues,
but I'm here to let you know,
I'm your Catherine, your my Jo.
Betta half, you make me whole.

I know you go through my phone,
Checkin all of my messages.
Thinking I do you wrong
Tryna see who im messin with.

Baby ill ride for you,
Baby ill die for you,
You are the only one ,
The only one that I'm lovin.

The only onee that im lovin is you
The only one I let touch me is you

You're the only one that sees
In my vicky secrets

The one I share my sheets with
Baby the only one that I want is you"

&& with all that said;

Goodbye;
&GodBless!

dreams;

So, what im sayin is... a girl can dream right?
Tiffany &Co has bomb wedding rings.
SExXxy;

Round Brilliant with Channel-set Band
$9600

Tiffany Legacy
$11,600

Three Stone with Sapphire Side Stones
$13,700



FUCKING AYHOLE.

2/3/09; 2/14/09

madass headache; prayin for my right hand.
2mrws the day =[


theres a possibility, this valentines day is gonna be a lonely one... =[