survival;

7.24.O8

LMFAO; TODAY HAS BEEN THE FUNNIEST DAY EVER. ZACHS TALKIN SOO MUCH SHIT;

BUT, I FORGOT WHAT I WAS BOUT 2 WRITE...

OH I WROTE A POEM THE OTHER DAY;
HERE IT GOES;

if life wasnt so hard,
you think wed really be doin all this??
why would it be the free life,
that i wanna rish?

all we tryna do is survive.
and pay these medical bills
jus so grandpa jim can stay alive.

you think we'd be slangin rocks?
out on street corners,
two middle fingers up
screamin out FUCK THE COPS!

you think we'd be sellin ass?
jus to get this cash real fast?

jus so lil sean can get those new js,
so hes the hottest lil boy at school
on the first day.

or so moms can take some time ,
and stop workin so hard.

we do what we have to ta get by,
i mean i dont wanna see another loved one die.

yet they call us the bad guys.
when all we tryna do,
is do what they do...

and thats survive

mike;

7.23.o8

nikki called me and left me a voicemail apparently. (stefons mom) when she called i didnt mention us not talkin, i didnt feel like it was my place to tell her. so i guess when he called her, he told her we were done. she called and left a voicemail that made me cry. "i wanna let you know how much i appreciate what youve done for my son. it makes me happy to know that while were going thru things, theres someone here that took care of him the way i wouldve and i just wanted to say thanks"


well; me zach and turboe are supernevergivers. all i gotta say is WHOA BRODIE. were ballin. blakclabel gresham shit. lmfao. i gotta go to bed tho. i got skool in the am.
WOMPPPP


_infamous...

stringofhope;

7.21.o8

today was a hard day. i tried to act normal towards stefon but, he
doesnt care. were done and thats that. my only thing is, i feel like hes
gonna talk to gina again. and its olike why am i losing him to a little
ass girl! like i jus dont get it... . . idk honestly, i question this
relationships worth. i wonder if me fighting, is worth it. its like ive
simply become something that you forgot.

its easy for me to just go back to reese or travis with ease. those were
my niggas. my rideordies. my thru errything niggas. and i let em go for
stef. and now i lost stef? damn; well, we all know i never give up that easy, especially when i have alot of competition...

fate;

7.20.o8

he rescued me. call it fast or w/e but he did. we stayed up til 730am
talkin about everything. i ,let my emotions get the best of em and he
likes the nessa that was like him. so we decided... he decided we need
to take time apart and i need to go back to the me that he got in this
for; which i have no problem in doing if itll fix us. only thing i
wonder... while im gone, where will his heart be... he says if he sees
the right nessa hes gonna b back but its like what if a new one comes
along... idk man i guess i jus gotta have hope. i jjus honestly hope he
does too. im changing alot of what im used to to get used to him. i dont
wanna say its something i dont like.... i jus needa get used to it. but
@@ the same time, its new... and what if new is what i need to have a
successful relationship.

torn;

7.20.o8

ME ND STEFS RELATIONSHIP;
days go by, and i really sit and wonder how long hell be around for. its like im living a lie. like i honestly kan say hes changed for the worse.
i still love him tho, not a bit less. i jus dont understand why. like i
know why but why so much? theres so many things he doesnt do for me that
i need. that every1 looks and says, why isnt he affectionate? and i
wonder. cuz not even i know. i jus know i love him and i cant leave. as
many times as i thought i wanted to, somethings keeping me here. but @@
the same time its like this has happened before... what if he ends up
like the rest? but then its like im bout to be 19 years old. what if
this is the nigga i spend the rest of my life with? like i sit here and
wonder how people know when they REALLY love someone. and how they know
theyre in love. like what are u supposed to like about a person. i sit
here and think about the first week me nd him got involved. ALL. THE.
TiME. &iT makes me wonder why we fell off that level. why he kuld never
be the same wya he was when i first met him. why we arent the same. why
doesnt he come up to me anymore and jus kiss me or come and jus hold me
like little things like that are what make me happy. and he doesnt want
to do those. in a way i feel like hes intentionally pushing me away. and
@@ the same time i feel like he really cares, so im lost.....

lost



LOST!
and i need someone to rescue me....

HAPPY;

all i gotta say;

3daysstrong =)

diggs;

before i start this post; joey diggs is the greatest person alive!! he sings FUCKING amazing!!

7.12.o8
so stef admited to being a little too flirty but said it wasnt like that. i mean in a way im relieved but at the same time, a nigga can say anything. i jus gotta be a little more cautious with my feelings or trust towards him. =\ slowly but surely i feel like were both jus growing apart. as much as i dont want to say that, i feel as if its true.

moving onto school, i really dont know what im going to do. i need to stay in school til at least august. by that time i can tell my mom im dropping out of ai for lafs.

but, i gotta go write my appeal letter for school. ill write more tonight.

dirtassniggaFASHO;

7.9.o8
SOOOO maimai tries to show me a message she sent to someone on her myspace... somehow it ended up redirecting to stefons myspace like he never signed off or something and the first thing shes sees... is some shit about stefon and some girl natalie...
i saw somethings i shouldnt have seen that really causes me to believe the nigga can be doing me dirt... dont ever say things to another girl that you dont even tell me. dont ever tell a girl shes beatiful and you miss here and yall needa make that happen. nigga huh? cuz if thats how u feel, best believe you can have that bitch. im not gon sit here and let a nigga try and play infamous, ESPECIALLY when the broad aint nowhere near my level. if you wanna try and convince a girl shes everything uve been looking for and ud never do anything worth losing her,
yet steadily talkin to other bitches on some super friendly shit... THERES A PROBLEM MY NIGGA. YES IM TALKIN TO YOU STEF;

SIGNED_iNFAMOUS
_MOOD: IRRITATED AS FUCK.
_FEELING: LIKE I CANT TRUST ANY1
_SONG: NIGGAS AINT SHITxTRINA

bestbirthdayever.

7.8.08

okay so yesterday was pretty much successful.
i got stefon a bottle, a pill, and tree. i hate that nigga rollin, but it was his bday and if that wat was gonna help him have a good bday, i dont care... me caitlyn mai stef &doe went to th' beach. he told them "i really didnt think id be doin anything today. i thought itd b just like any other day, but really... this is one of the best bdays ive had in a while" hearing him say that made me wanna cry... we ended up having a deep ass talk on the beach.
even tho he was thizzed, he still was fully aware of what he was saying... i just wish i could go back to being who he wants me to be. slowly im learning. just like he is. its something special when two people that used to do major dirt come together and are willing to change for each other. im willing to b patient with him if hes willing to change. and the same goes for him. even tho hes changed, i still love him for who he is because i know that person is still in there somewhere. all that we talked about in those 10/15 minutes... make me realize im glad im still here and i believe him when he said "we're gonna make it thru this"

but anyways i never understood the females and why they are the way they are... thats why i cant get close to any of them. im coming to the conclusion that there arent many you can trust. with stef, i trust him.. i just know niggas are niggas. i know he says hes not gonna do anything to fuck us up, but niggas are niggas. shit happens and i dont want shit to happen. but it is what it is.

mind went blank so ill write more.
me &mai are gonna go take a walk;
never give, bitch.

signed_infamous.