mm

today wasnt anything special. went to work nd did my first tour.
gettn control of things faster nd easier than i thought.
then drove out 2 the valley nd picked up my bo0but =]

&& now heshere w. me...

ahhsheesh

he makes me feel...


wowunexplainable.

arigatomrroboto;

today was my first day of work && i really like it.
i feel so grown up now =] no more little kid jobs hehe.

well aint got much to say besides i stayed up til 3 am talkin to quell last nite.
we both said alot & lets jus say;
MY BO0B0OZ BACK =]
supersp0rtd0rk08!

love&basketball;

watching this movie tonight made me realize a few things about males. as emotional as females are, males need just as much support. they too go thru emotional things like us females. they too need someone to vent to when theyre feeling alone.and when you hold a title to a certain male, BE THERE FOR THAT MALE just as youd want him to do for you.

i understand work/ your future is important (basketball) but deserting someone who really needs you, can be really painful.

&& guys are good at payback just like females are! lol


with that being said... i start work 2mrw @9am.
im trying this new whole approach at life.

ima wake up @@ 6 everyday and work out.
its time i get back in shape you know?
im starting a new chapter of my life.

new job, new $, new place, new friends, new happiness.
why not get into shape...





havin a deep convo with someone ive been holding onto for the past 3 yrs...
hopefully the future looks right.

supersp0rtdork0701; 2oo6-2oo8

SO, I SAW MARQUELL . . . and everything felt RIGHT.
2yrs of non existance all ended sept. 11th 2oo8.
i dont wanna get too into details of my emotions right now, just cuz im bout to leave but lets jus leave it like this... i miss him. and honestly, even tho we're just friends . . . i feel complete yet empty at the same time. they say if u love something let it go, and if it comes back then thats how youll know, got to the stop light and i made four rights now im back where i started and your back in my life...


okay 2 songs to explain this situation perfectly.
ne-yo: do you.
trey songz: missing you.

I would love to talk to you in person.
But I understand why that can't be.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise.
If you answer this one question for me.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?

First off let me say congragulations.
Heard that you just had a baby boy,
If he looks anything like his father,
He's the cutest thing in the world.
Swear that I'm not tryin' to start no trouble.
Tell your bitch ass fee she can relax.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise,
There's a question I just gotta ask.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?

I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interupt your life.
I just wonder do I cross your mind?

&& trey songz- missing you
It's everything about you baby.
Wanna know where you been lately.
Do you go out?
Do you still live at your old house?
Do you got somebody new in your life?
Cuz I can't get you out of my mind.

And I wanna erase,
but I can't stop seein' your face.
in every girl I try to replace you with.
Why can't I get over it?
Simply cuz I can't...

I can't stop missin you. (can't stop)
Wish I was there with you. (with you)
I can't stop missin you.
No, no, no, no.
I can't stop missin you. (can't stop)
Wish I was there with you. (with you)
I can't stop missin you.
No, no, no, no.

I can't stop...

Missin everything you say,
missin all the crazy love we made.
Why'd you throw it all away?
I want you to know
It's been hell tryna do this without you here.
Baby, '07's supposed to be our year.
You confront my worst fears.
And I had my doubts,
every time you was going out.
Cuz I knew you were tellin me lies
and I can't get that outta my mind.

And I wanna erase,
but I can't stop seein' your face.
in every girl I try to replace you with.
Why can't I get over it?
Simply cuz I can't...

bellybutton;

WHOAAAAAAA; LMAO MYSPACE DOES WONDERS.
POINT BLANK PERIOD.

ILL UPDATE MORE LATER;
I GOT MY CAMERA CHARGER =]
&& I GOT MY BELLY BUTTON PIERCED;
WHO0OA DADDY LOL.

BE BACK LATER.

santaclarita&valley;

looks like im leaving la faster than i thought . . .
the end of this week i will be staying in the valley.
Shoup &Ventura; for 3 months until my 90 days.
then to Canyon Country for me.

goodbye Los Angeles;

welcome back; 661 &the 818.

anotherlovedonelost;

DAMN; THIS IS WHAT ITS LOOKIN LIKE . . .

REST IN PEACE;

ARMAND
KRYS JACKSON
TERMITE
GILBERT TORRES
HORACE SUN
CORNBREAD
JGOOFY

IT really really fuckin saddens me to see all these people passing away. it makes me take heed in the people i have in my life and really makes me thankful for them. my mom, grandma, grandpa, mai, aerica,kyla, doeycoast, hasan, richard, dennis, davion, dom, chris, q, walker, aaliyah, alexis, elexis, jay, brandon, travis, solow, DARRYL, nay, patrick, joey, nate, michelle, joeylove, joeboe, levie, buccwild, dfresh, jrockets, niko, janmark, brian, corrina, killa, jasmine,reese, jericha, i love you all. its crazy how fast life can be taken away from us.
weve all had encounters where our lives were put in jeopardy.weve all gone thru situations similar to the way our loved ones have passed. we need to take heed and realize that one of those people YOU know that passed, couldve easily been you . . or one of your best friends...

deep? yeah, i realize this.

well, im kinda bitter right now. so yeah, lemme get off here and ill write more later if i feel like it.

oh &step1 is in process as of 9.9.o8

&ill be moving out ASAP

flakeydodirt;

8.4.08

SO i havent written in a while. since then lmfao my lifes been interesting.
dropped stef hes a ungrateful rude piece of shit. and im okay with that lmao.
infamous is back i guess.
"niggas aint shit but hoes and tricks" hhaaaaa'

and mom found out she has cervical cancer, so shes not moving anymore. physically she cant because the hospitals over there are DIRTTT.

but uhm, yeah; so august 2nd was the night of my birthday dinner & someone randomly showed up. me her hasan and brian were all there. cute right? lmao "she didnt kno my bday dinner was gna b there" -_- ANYWAYS after we all p0sted on the block. joey and nate came; loves of my lifes. #1 and #2 lmao. i guess i told nate that when were 26 were goin to get married and if hes already married im beatin down his wife lmao. but uhmmmm so on the block; joey diggs did the dirt of the year. wowww. i was so disgusted by him, it ruined my fckn night. copped a 40 sac went to my house w. richard and mark aka lil knuccs && was JADED FADED BAKED BLEEDED AL THAT! i couldnt move. but its been a good bday weekend...


BESIDES THE FACT THAT JOEY LOVE DOES DIRT.
new name_ FLAKEY LOVE AKA FLAKE FLAKE(JOJO) AKA FLAKEYDODIRT lmao.

&my fuckin 19th birthday is 2MRW!!! WHOAAAA =]]

happy birthday to me 2mrw lol.

andddddd LEXIS BABY IS LILNATTBUTT2 3 lmao~~

GONE_

survival;

7.24.O8

LMFAO; TODAY HAS BEEN THE FUNNIEST DAY EVER. ZACHS TALKIN SOO MUCH SHIT;

BUT, I FORGOT WHAT I WAS BOUT 2 WRITE...

OH I WROTE A POEM THE OTHER DAY;
HERE IT GOES;

if life wasnt so hard,
you think wed really be doin all this??
why would it be the free life,
that i wanna rish?

all we tryna do is survive.
and pay these medical bills
jus so grandpa jim can stay alive.

you think we'd be slangin rocks?
out on street corners,
two middle fingers up
screamin out FUCK THE COPS!

you think we'd be sellin ass?
jus to get this cash real fast?

jus so lil sean can get those new js,
so hes the hottest lil boy at school
on the first day.

or so moms can take some time ,
and stop workin so hard.

we do what we have to ta get by,
i mean i dont wanna see another loved one die.

yet they call us the bad guys.
when all we tryna do,
is do what they do...

and thats survive

mike;

7.23.o8

nikki called me and left me a voicemail apparently. (stefons mom) when she called i didnt mention us not talkin, i didnt feel like it was my place to tell her. so i guess when he called her, he told her we were done. she called and left a voicemail that made me cry. "i wanna let you know how much i appreciate what youve done for my son. it makes me happy to know that while were going thru things, theres someone here that took care of him the way i wouldve and i just wanted to say thanks"


well; me zach and turboe are supernevergivers. all i gotta say is WHOA BRODIE. were ballin. blakclabel gresham shit. lmfao. i gotta go to bed tho. i got skool in the am.
WOMPPPP


_infamous...

stringofhope;

7.21.o8

today was a hard day. i tried to act normal towards stefon but, he
doesnt care. were done and thats that. my only thing is, i feel like hes
gonna talk to gina again. and its olike why am i losing him to a little
ass girl! like i jus dont get it... . . idk honestly, i question this
relationships worth. i wonder if me fighting, is worth it. its like ive
simply become something that you forgot.

its easy for me to just go back to reese or travis with ease. those were
my niggas. my rideordies. my thru errything niggas. and i let em go for
stef. and now i lost stef? damn; well, we all know i never give up that easy, especially when i have alot of competition...

fate;

7.20.o8

he rescued me. call it fast or w/e but he did. we stayed up til 730am
talkin about everything. i ,let my emotions get the best of em and he
likes the nessa that was like him. so we decided... he decided we need
to take time apart and i need to go back to the me that he got in this
for; which i have no problem in doing if itll fix us. only thing i
wonder... while im gone, where will his heart be... he says if he sees
the right nessa hes gonna b back but its like what if a new one comes
along... idk man i guess i jus gotta have hope. i jjus honestly hope he
does too. im changing alot of what im used to to get used to him. i dont
wanna say its something i dont like.... i jus needa get used to it. but
@@ the same time, its new... and what if new is what i need to have a
successful relationship.

torn;

7.20.o8

ME ND STEFS RELATIONSHIP;
days go by, and i really sit and wonder how long hell be around for. its like im living a lie. like i honestly kan say hes changed for the worse.
i still love him tho, not a bit less. i jus dont understand why. like i
know why but why so much? theres so many things he doesnt do for me that
i need. that every1 looks and says, why isnt he affectionate? and i
wonder. cuz not even i know. i jus know i love him and i cant leave. as
many times as i thought i wanted to, somethings keeping me here. but @@
the same time its like this has happened before... what if he ends up
like the rest? but then its like im bout to be 19 years old. what if
this is the nigga i spend the rest of my life with? like i sit here and
wonder how people know when they REALLY love someone. and how they know
theyre in love. like what are u supposed to like about a person. i sit
here and think about the first week me nd him got involved. ALL. THE.
TiME. &iT makes me wonder why we fell off that level. why he kuld never
be the same wya he was when i first met him. why we arent the same. why
doesnt he come up to me anymore and jus kiss me or come and jus hold me
like little things like that are what make me happy. and he doesnt want
to do those. in a way i feel like hes intentionally pushing me away. and
@@ the same time i feel like he really cares, so im lost.....

lost



LOST!
and i need someone to rescue me....

HAPPY;

all i gotta say;

3daysstrong =)

diggs;

before i start this post; joey diggs is the greatest person alive!! he sings FUCKING amazing!!

7.12.o8
so stef admited to being a little too flirty but said it wasnt like that. i mean in a way im relieved but at the same time, a nigga can say anything. i jus gotta be a little more cautious with my feelings or trust towards him. =\ slowly but surely i feel like were both jus growing apart. as much as i dont want to say that, i feel as if its true.

moving onto school, i really dont know what im going to do. i need to stay in school til at least august. by that time i can tell my mom im dropping out of ai for lafs.

but, i gotta go write my appeal letter for school. ill write more tonight.

dirtassniggaFASHO;

7.9.o8
SOOOO maimai tries to show me a message she sent to someone on her myspace... somehow it ended up redirecting to stefons myspace like he never signed off or something and the first thing shes sees... is some shit about stefon and some girl natalie...
i saw somethings i shouldnt have seen that really causes me to believe the nigga can be doing me dirt... dont ever say things to another girl that you dont even tell me. dont ever tell a girl shes beatiful and you miss here and yall needa make that happen. nigga huh? cuz if thats how u feel, best believe you can have that bitch. im not gon sit here and let a nigga try and play infamous, ESPECIALLY when the broad aint nowhere near my level. if you wanna try and convince a girl shes everything uve been looking for and ud never do anything worth losing her,
yet steadily talkin to other bitches on some super friendly shit... THERES A PROBLEM MY NIGGA. YES IM TALKIN TO YOU STEF;

SIGNED_iNFAMOUS
_MOOD: IRRITATED AS FUCK.
_FEELING: LIKE I CANT TRUST ANY1
_SONG: NIGGAS AINT SHITxTRINA

bestbirthdayever.

7.8.08

okay so yesterday was pretty much successful.
i got stefon a bottle, a pill, and tree. i hate that nigga rollin, but it was his bday and if that wat was gonna help him have a good bday, i dont care... me caitlyn mai stef &doe went to th' beach. he told them "i really didnt think id be doin anything today. i thought itd b just like any other day, but really... this is one of the best bdays ive had in a while" hearing him say that made me wanna cry... we ended up having a deep ass talk on the beach.
even tho he was thizzed, he still was fully aware of what he was saying... i just wish i could go back to being who he wants me to be. slowly im learning. just like he is. its something special when two people that used to do major dirt come together and are willing to change for each other. im willing to b patient with him if hes willing to change. and the same goes for him. even tho hes changed, i still love him for who he is because i know that person is still in there somewhere. all that we talked about in those 10/15 minutes... make me realize im glad im still here and i believe him when he said "we're gonna make it thru this"

but anyways i never understood the females and why they are the way they are... thats why i cant get close to any of them. im coming to the conclusion that there arent many you can trust. with stef, i trust him.. i just know niggas are niggas. i know he says hes not gonna do anything to fuck us up, but niggas are niggas. shit happens and i dont want shit to happen. but it is what it is.

mind went blank so ill write more.
me &mai are gonna go take a walk;
never give, bitch.

signed_infamous.

update;

6.18.o8

sometimes i tend to wonder, if love is really ever possible. if a "true love" ever really exists. if people really have "soulmates." if that was the case, why do so many relationships fail... . .. why do people argue... why do people spend their lives searching for that perfect person.... in a way i feel like ive found the one, yet at the same time its like we argue so much that it doesnt make sense. if the "perfect" person really existed... arguements wouldnt be a problem. cheaters wouldnt exist. lies wouldnt exist. drama in relationships wouldnt exist.
i kind of feel that people CREATE the perfect relationship in their mind, but the more you sit back and calculate in real life and realistic situations, you tend to realize perfection is hard to achieve. be it in yourself, your child, your family, your friends, your job, schooling, or relationships.
even the sweetest of partners can still have flaws that you dont realize until the situation arises.

i just sat back and looked at my blog and realized i started writing about true love, and then pondered onto perfection... . . . my mind tends to wander. ah wweeellll. ..

back to my life; lately lifes been something crucial.
work; no more jamba juice... the niggas are dirt. end of fuckn story. moms tryna find me a temp job thru some organization... WOMP WOMP.
school; wish i never went but whatever. gotta deal with the hardroad to get th' gold i guess. love; -crossed out.
friends; womp. zach, hasan, maimai, elexis, ky, jerichabby, aerica, and a few others. those are thee main ones that i have left. its funny cuz the ones that said they'd always be here, are nowhere to be found. *smh*

that last catergory leads me to another topic... friends. fuck em all. theyre all fake as fuck anyways. makes me wanna move like now. san lorenzo; florida; new york; which one? *smh* who am i fooling? california is me.. its tatted on me for christ's sake...

well; for now thats all i really feel like writing about. i havent written in here for a while so im sure this made up for alot. && im at moms house tonight so im sure ill wake up middle of the night writing more.

s'all folks;;
`Vanessa Acosta.

wompbitch;

6.1.o8

kicked it w. bucc &lil flii last night in rancho... lit one up nd went to the call of buck. cops was on it -_- saw my brothers tslaught nd solow. saw enforcer goofy nd phoophoo. pretty coo but i was hella tired nd sick.
came home went straight to bed lol and barely startn my day @ 5.14 pm womp womp right?

well; i got hwk tons of it.
and idk wtf to say but

NEVA GIVEEEE;



-infamous cuh

sick;

5.26.o8

IM SICK AS A FUCKING DOG
SO FUCK EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

FUCK Ai.
FUCK JAMBA JUICE
FUCK JSLAUGHT.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK FACEBOOK.
FUCK MYSPACE.
FUCK TMOBILE.
FUCK BLOGSPOT.

SOMEONE FUCKIN TAKE THIS SICKNESS FROM MEEEE!!

work @ 8am 2mrw.
FUCK LIFE.

GOODNIGHT.

ps; saturday im going to go spend the day with naheem aka buccwild.
he wants me to fuck with tha hooligans!
hmmm; well see.